Bad week

It has been a week of pain and vomiting and complaints and I have not been able to resolve anything.

It started with mum throwing up on the transport on the way home from her day centre. Not unusual.  This was Tuesday.  She got some opiod patches from the GP on Wednesday for the pain and was fine, but the following day threw up on the transport home. We put it down to the heat and travel sickness, but she continued to feel ill on Friday and vomited again in the evening.  So now I didn’t know if it was the medication!

I tried taking one of the patches off (the GP said we could use two if necessary) but had to put it back on again in the end (with the help of some surgical tape) as she complained the pain was too bad.  The pain eventually did subside, but mum was not happy as I was reluctant to give her anything else for the pain.

Now she feels dizzy as well as sick, but at least the vomiting appears to have stopped.

 

The whole week has been a strain.  She clearly doesn’t know where to put herself and is no doubt getting anxious as I am going away in a couple of weeks.  She has been calling me in the night, complaining that none of the buzzers or phone works, called the watch alarm people out because the carer was a bit late and has been generally unhappy.  She said she doesn’t want to be a nuisance but wants someone with her all the time, which just isn’t possible.  Even in the Residential Home that didn’t happen, though she now thinks that was wonderful – short memory!  I can’t do any more than I am.  In the end, I gave in and gave her two paracetamol, two phenergan (for the sickness) and two senna tablets (for the constipation) on top of her medication last night and she seemed to have slept through – unless she has died…..I am too frightened to look!  Or I just didn’t hear her from exhaustion…I will find out in a minute 😦

 

Night out

Got invited to dinner tonight, but it meant leaving my mum on her own.  The last carer came at 6pm but had nothing to do.  Mum had come back from her club wet and having thrown up on the transport, so I had already changed her and got her ready for bed. As soon as the carer left and I had my coat on, mum then asked for a cup of tea, commode, fan etc clearly panicking that I was going to leave her for hours on end.  By the time I arrived at the restaurant, I was late and looked a mess.  Everyone else looked so calm and relaxed and, as it turned out, had far worse things going on in their lives than I had.

I was actually home by 9.30pm but managed to eat and drink far too much in that couple of hours, on the excuse of being stressed – why do I do that?  I go out determined to have a salad and end up having the most fattening dish on the menu plus a desert!  I seemed to be set on a downward spiral heading towards obesity and diabetes.  I really need to take some control and responsibility over my diet and actually exercise – I have one of those ‘pay and don’t go’ gym memberships!

Selective hearing

Mum had a fall last night. She tried to use the commode and slipped off.  It was only when my husband starting pushing me, that I realised that the loud ringing I could hear was her calling for help!

All the years I cared for my daughter, I seemed to sense in advance if she was ill.  Even though she no longer lives with us, I still know when she is unwell.  For some reason I just don’t hear my mum!!  I have a video camera in the room with 2 way audio as well as a doorbell and I still don’t hear her.

Tonight she had to press the watch alarm.  I just managed to get to the phone before they turned up.  I forgot to tell them that mum was sleeping in the front room, so they are likely to bound up the stairs into our bedroom one night! Think I had better get that one sorted out early on.

It was a real struggle to pick her up.  I didn’t want to ask my husband as he has been ill himself lately and also has a bad shoulder, but I thought I might have to.  Mum knew to cross her arms, but it was only after a few unsuccessful attempts that I realised she was keeping her legs straight! No wonder I was struggling.  I got her half up and we both fell on the bed.  Eventually, after a lot of struggling, she managed to get into bed properly but they really should provide the family with training on how to lift someone.

Anyway thank goodness she was okay, but we seem to be going backwards.  She was starting to manage in the night, but her leg has been playing up the last few days and she has been having trouble standing.  Painkillers are not helping so it may be connected with her stroke – I have been reading about post stroke pain – and if it is that there is apparently not much they can do about it!  Looks like we are back to some disturbed nights again.

Finding a routine

There is so much stuff to do and remember I have had to laminate a list:

Morning: empty commode, wash, dress, brush teeth, change pad, medication, help to chair, move commode to chair, breakfast then leave the following:

water and glass, mobile phone, landline, watch alarm, clock, tv remote controls, paracetamol, fan, tissues, toilet roll, spare pads, bin liners. And on club days – water, sickness tablets and money, more spare pads. Oh and a snack.

Evening:

Wash, put nightdress on, change pad, empty commode, evening meal, medication, senna, painkillers, move commode to side of bed and remember to put the following items on the bed table:

charge phone, charge landline, clock, bell to call me in the night, watch alarm, tv remote controls, water and glass, tissues, fan, paracetamol, toilet roll, spare pads, bin liners. Oh and a snack.

Order regular supplies of pads and pants, tena wipes, fragrance free shower gel, gloves, face wipes, bin liners, toilet rolls, tissues and medication.

And then clean the house, cook the meals, check appointments, pick up after falls in the night, liaise with carers, do the daily laundry and go to work….  I am sure I have forgotten something 😦