Alive and kicking (almost)

Well mum survived the night and actually slept really well, but she has now got into the habit of calling me about 7am for a cup of tea!  She is also complaining that I am not a happy bunny when she calls me in the middle of the night!  Well that is probably because I am still half asleep!  She complained I am like the carers who were in the home as they would just come in and say ‘what do you want?’  It is completely different – they are paid to smile, I’m not!

I must admit I have been getting slightly ratty, but that was because I couldn’t help her.  Nothing I seemed to do reduced her sickness or pain, but apparently I should have just come in and given her a hug! As if that would have worked when she was writhing with pain.  Anyway, these things go two ways!

Everything is so one-sided.  She rarely says thank you, expects me to be there constantly at her beck and call, turning on the light, passing her glasses, picking up something she has dropped, getting her a drink or food – this is on top of the assistance in getting her on and off the commode or cooking her meals etc.  It is relentless and generally unappreciated.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t turn this blog into a complaint but…

 

Bad week

It has been a week of pain and vomiting and complaints and I have not been able to resolve anything.

It started with mum throwing up on the transport on the way home from her day centre. Not unusual.  This was Tuesday.  She got some opiod patches from the GP on Wednesday for the pain and was fine, but the following day threw up on the transport home. We put it down to the heat and travel sickness, but she continued to feel ill on Friday and vomited again in the evening.  So now I didn’t know if it was the medication!

I tried taking one of the patches off (the GP said we could use two if necessary) but had to put it back on again in the end (with the help of some surgical tape) as she complained the pain was too bad.  The pain eventually did subside, but mum was not happy as I was reluctant to give her anything else for the pain.

Now she feels dizzy as well as sick, but at least the vomiting appears to have stopped.

 

The whole week has been a strain.  She clearly doesn’t know where to put herself and is no doubt getting anxious as I am going away in a couple of weeks.  She has been calling me in the night, complaining that none of the buzzers or phone works, called the watch alarm people out because the carer was a bit late and has been generally unhappy.  She said she doesn’t want to be a nuisance but wants someone with her all the time, which just isn’t possible.  Even in the Residential Home that didn’t happen, though she now thinks that was wonderful – short memory!  I can’t do any more than I am.  In the end, I gave in and gave her two paracetamol, two phenergan (for the sickness) and two senna tablets (for the constipation) on top of her medication last night and she seemed to have slept through – unless she has died…..I am too frightened to look!  Or I just didn’t hear her from exhaustion…I will find out in a minute 😦

 

Selective hearing

Mum had a fall last night. She tried to use the commode and slipped off.  It was only when my husband starting pushing me, that I realised that the loud ringing I could hear was her calling for help!

All the years I cared for my daughter, I seemed to sense in advance if she was ill.  Even though she no longer lives with us, I still know when she is unwell.  For some reason I just don’t hear my mum!!  I have a video camera in the room with 2 way audio as well as a doorbell and I still don’t hear her.

Tonight she had to press the watch alarm.  I just managed to get to the phone before they turned up.  I forgot to tell them that mum was sleeping in the front room, so they are likely to bound up the stairs into our bedroom one night! Think I had better get that one sorted out early on.

It was a real struggle to pick her up.  I didn’t want to ask my husband as he has been ill himself lately and also has a bad shoulder, but I thought I might have to.  Mum knew to cross her arms, but it was only after a few unsuccessful attempts that I realised she was keeping her legs straight! No wonder I was struggling.  I got her half up and we both fell on the bed.  Eventually, after a lot of struggling, she managed to get into bed properly but they really should provide the family with training on how to lift someone.

Anyway thank goodness she was okay, but we seem to be going backwards.  She was starting to manage in the night, but her leg has been playing up the last few days and she has been having trouble standing.  Painkillers are not helping so it may be connected with her stroke – I have been reading about post stroke pain – and if it is that there is apparently not much they can do about it!  Looks like we are back to some disturbed nights again.